On Being Modern

My feet are raw; raw and red and have skin rubbed off over bony parts. I wish I could say it was because I was doing something altruistic, like hauling water for miles over pebbly ground to give to thirsty children. But alas, it is because I, like every woman I know, wore a pair of cute shoes out tonight that had nothing to do with function and everything to do with fashion. Now, I know that cute shoes can also be functional, but I chose a pair of those witchy-toed shoes that squeeze the heck out of the upper third of your foot, and look really great if you don't have to walk anywhere at all, and can just stand there looking beautiful in your witchy-toed shoes.
I had an A+ day; met some friends at the Sheep Meadow in Central Park and sunbathed/studied for awhile; went to a posh athletic club and rinsed off in cold water before sitting in a eucalyptus-infused steam room and allowing my pores to be opened and the toxins to come out; ran into a friend from nursing class and had high tea and tea sandwiches at a cute place on the West Side, had some amazing Mediterranean food down the block; and to top it all off, went to an exquisite ballet at Lincoln Center called "Jewels". The New York Ballet is amazing, and it was such a treat. My friend and I went to drinks after at a very very nice restaurant located on the 35th floor of the Mandarin Oriental hotel, called 'Asiate'. All in all, it was great! But the feet would not agree with me on that one, and by the time I got home, it was all I could do to not throw those shoes in the trash. Problem is, they are the only pair of short black versatile heels that I own, so until I find a new pair, I'm going to have to suck it up and keep wearing them. I suppose torturing ourselves for the sake of fashion is not a new phenomenon though; look at the ladies who wore corsets, not able to breathe nor eat for the sake of having a small waist. I wonder if Eve ever had any similar experiences with apparel? Maybe she turned to Adam one day and said, "Do you think this fig leaf makes me look fat?" or "Should I wear the clam-shell shoes with the rock heels or the badger-skin flats?" No, the whole fig leaf thing is a myth; the Word says that God made them clothes out of animal skins. But I'm digressing. Suffice it to say, I learned my lesson, and won't be wearing those shoes again unless I absolutely have to.